Redirecting

Any of you that have a GPS or Tom Tom or Navigation system hear the audible prompt "Redirecting" or "Recalculating" when you decide not to take the route they are telling you to go and head out in your own direction.  Often it's because you have gone that way before and know there are alternatives that are easier...or at the least more familiar.

Well, I feel like we have been on a trek of Redirection for over 2 years now...maybe longer.  What we thought we were going to be doing when we relocated to PA from OH and what we are doing now was totally off our Radar screen.  I could have never told you I'd be working in a high school and loving it.  I could have never thought that I'd be working and my husband would be unemployed.
Redirection has set some things in motion that I really don't think will be understood until we are on the other side of it.  And isn't that often how changes and difficulties pan out in our lives?

During this time of the year I think of the many people who have shaped my life and made a difference for me.  I look forward to the holidays to get back together with family and friends that make my life worth living.  I was reminiscing tonight with my husband about the many people we used to spend time with in a therapy group who were genuinely interested in what was going on in our lives and we in theirs.  We could get into the meat of the life stuff we were each going through and we connected on a level that made our friendships very rich.  I also think about a wonderful wild woman who called me a genius and hired me to work in her store believing that everything I did was wonderful!  Even if it wasn't true what a neat way to be affirmed!

There are also friends that we have known for many years that when we get back together it's like we were never apart.  We can enjoy sitting over a meal together or connecting some obscure place when we are running through town and we feel like we've been given the gift of life giving oxygen from an air starved emphysema patient.
Then there are those God moments when something unexpected happens and you marvel after wards that the Holy Spirit was right there with you in the most unusual way.
The other day that happened to me.  I responded to someone's e-mail to let them know that I got their message but that I could not respond to the request that they had made.  Out of that a dialogue came that was very significant for me and touched my heart in a way that melted some of the walls and barriers I've been trying to hold up since, my husband lost his job.

This person was sensitive and actually asked me "How are YOU doing?"  It caught me so off guard.  I guess I really had not asked even myself that question.
I've learned that you can work with people for a long time and really not know who they are or have any idea what is going on in their lives.  I've learned that some of the students I have contact with everyday may be a lifeline for me or a lifeline for them.  I've learned that sometimes in the most unusual ways, God Shows Up.
And that brings me to the thought that God could actually show up in the Holy Spirit as a Woman, a kid or something no one would expect.  Didn't we read about the rocks crying out and donkey's speaking in the Bible?
One of the ways I see God "Redirecting" my life is getting to know my sister and loving every minute of it.   Some of you know that I lost my oldest sister to a car accident when I was 19.  That set in motion a long process of grieving and loss of relationship with the other members of my family.
I lost my younger sister so to speak..maybe because of all they sadness we shared or maybe we both had to set out in different directions in order to survive.  I am so happy that we are finally able to get together and connect in a way that we didn't when we were younger.  I admire and respect her beyond imagination.  I think she's one of the smartest people I know.  And we really have fun together in the few times we are able to get together.

Another way of "Redirection" is,I have learned to embrace my mother and we have come closer together.  There was a time in my life we used to war against each other about everything, but I determined , after some therapy,that I did not want to be angry with her for the rest of my life and I needed to take responsibility for  my responses and reactions to the problems we were having.  I'm now able to spend time with her and we can enjoy each other without the expectation that we should be doing or being something that we are not.

Although sometimes, I get really scared, I think I've had a relationship long enough with God to know that there is something up that sleeve of His.  I don't think my husband will be discarded and we will end up destitute and alone.  God knows exactly what is up...and he is waiting just for the right time.

So redirection may end up being totally different than anything we ever imagined but I stand on the promises that I know to be sound and true.  The GPS system is the ultimate point of direction. 

 Even IF we veer off the calculated path for a while...we will eventually end up HOME!